Good Music

It should sound like a wave or a swarm coming forth
With a resonant doom, unmistakable force
Hysterical laughter, equal parts joy and madness
Something to illustrate deep joy and sadness
Parts that seem wrong that could never fit
The thrill of the beast before it has bit
It should form the words for what you can't say
The truth that gets told in some kind of way
The peeling of laughter, of skin, and of paint
And a purity that could make Judas a saint

Restless

My mind was overboard and swimming
My heart, it raced as if fresh from winning
The end collapsed when it reached the beginning
and all I could think was everything

Future

Creep slowly or he'll hear you
your heart as it is thudding
Your blood rushes so hard
in your ears it sounds like flooding
Your skin so tight and anxious
that the air seems it could burn it
The front door handle looms
but there's too much fear to turn it
You think you hear approaching steps
certain he is lurking
The sounds that pour from quiet
leave you swiveling and jerking
Your stomach is a gymnast
your knees feel weak as straw
You grab the handle tightly
like the clenching of your jaw
You ease the door to open
and run forth toward your future
You may still hold the scars
but there will be no more sutures

Residence

I know it's not the perfect place
Perhaps you still could stay
It can get cold or blustery
You could get swept away
The hazards are innumerable
but it still does have some charm
It just needs a little love
though appearance may alarm
It's not as new as it once was
it has some scrapes and cracks
But it's the place I know as home
and there's too much to pack
So here I'll stay and you can too
if you feel so inclined
There is no posh here to be found
but I love it cause it's mine

Fledgling

Trembling, just a fledgling
to emotions so deep
Warming, to the swarming
butterflies, I can't sleep
Beaming from the dreaming
that my mind does all day
Swooning, birds are crooning
as I'm carried away
Present, I'm a peasant
to the richness of you
Crooked, what your look did
lost 'fore I even knew
Free fall, it has changed all
that my life was before
Splendid, I've been rended
by the joy you implore

Defeater

The gargantuan footsteps
I have made in my sleep
Turn into promises
I have failed to keep
I need to do more
I want to do better
but my heavy mind
is an anchor, a tether
Reaching and stretching
almost torn to shreds
I swear to reanimate
dreams that lay dead
a perilous ledge
upon which I teeter
My quivering mind
my greatest defeater

A Parting of Ways

His knuckles white with sentiment
for the love had long since died
but the pain of it was evident
as he held the rose and cried

She slipped away without a tear
as he helplessly lamented
His empty gestures all those years
half-heartedly presented

He had given all the things
they said a woman wanted
Flowers, dinners, sparkly rings
Now atop her vanity haunted

He did not know a life without
a lady left in waiting
One who would not cry or pout
from occasional berating

One who always jumped to meet
His every beck and call
One who felt a love so sweet
when it was not there at all

She had tired deep inside
of endless hope and trying
The man she chose to stand beside
silent and complying

She had been spent, ignored and used
yet paraded at his whim
and though her flesh was unabused
it may as well have been

She felt it in her body
when 'ere he cut her down
His manner cruel and haughty
like he scraped her from the ground

So with the clothes upon her
she told him she was leaving
She had never been so sure
her defiance left him seething

He screamed at her initially
mockingly he pleaded
She carried on officially
and his anger soon receded

She swung aside the heavy door
and there a car was waiting
He grabbed a rose, as to implore
but his tears, to her, were grating

She climbed inside the taxi
and felt a freedom grow within
Now he could finally see
what it was like to be with him

Mayor Willy Wompett

Mayor Willy Wompett
Was the head of Wompettburg
But just what is a wompett?
Well it’s really quite absurd

Their head is really large
But their faces really tiny
Their hair is very brittle
But their skin is very shiny

Their body arms and legs
Are sized like normal human portions
But their faces always rest themselves
In rageful scowled contortions

Their hands are quite diminutive
For such a full sized fellow
And the color of their skin
In a sickly orange yellow

But Willy was the best of them
At least in his own mind
He saw himself a leader
Who was faithful, smart, and kind

Alas the other wompetts
Told quite a different story
His focus was attention
Celebrity and glory

While he stood above a crowd
He thought his speeches jovial
But the others coined a term
Many said that he was blovial

He’d talk and talk and talk
Never really making sense
Telling wompetts in a scary world
He was their one defense

No one would dare to cross him
He’d know just what to do
And work them to a frenzy
With his trite hullabaloo

Some grew tired of his words
And tired of the terror
Some saw that many things he said
Were rife with blatant error

Those who parted ways with him
Would suffer his disdain
Red faced with disparagement
Some saw him as deranged

The other nearby ‘burgs and ‘villes
Did worry for the wompetts
It couldn’t be a happy life
With a leader who’s so pompous

But the loyal wompetts scoffed at them
And claimed they were misled
But as the speeches prattled on
A different feeling spread

They tired of the hatred
From this tiny minded twit
Exhausted from the idea
That the downtrodden were nits

They knew hard times could happen
To almost anyone
Except the pulpit speaker
No matter what he’d done

Born into a fortune
Empire built on lies
Willy wasn’t like them
He lived off the little guys

He paid his workers peanuts
And dined on caviar
And never once has thanked them
For getting him this far

He made entire fantasies
Seem like they had occurred
Oblivious to the ire
That these stories had incurred

He shamed all those against him
Even those who were respected
And yet when wompetts angered
He found it unexpected

Election time was coming
And so many found him silly
But could they save dear Wompettsburg
From such a giant Willy?

My Own Hand

These sour feelings
hatch from me
This bitter mood
claws itself free
Until the ugly
germinates
Until the yowling
emanates
It's not so hard for me
you see
But still this anger
seeps from me
It could be days
until I'm clear
The aggravation
draws me near
Some form of stunted
ambling grief
This deep dark place
feels like relief
So I attack
before it can
And take the blows
from my own hand

Errant

Dancing at sundown
rising at dawn
Stopping to stare
at the flowers and fawns
Dressing up dapper
for your own amusement
Contemplate those things
that cause you bemusement
Roll down a hill
like you did when once young
Don't shy away
from what looks like great fun
Try to say yes
more then you say no
Find joy where you are
when you've nowhere to go
Pamper yourself
spoil a stranger
Try to see love as a gift
not a danger
The meaning of life
becomes more apparent
When you do the things
that others call errant

Bad Jokes

Why does one get so defensive
when they are told they've been offensive
this reaction leaves me pensive
I have felt it too

It could be they just didn't know it
Lest they'd be afraid to show it
Fearing they would likely blow it
what is one to do

Some don't feel that it is wrong
If you don't like it move along
You hate my joke then bang a gong
Why are you so serious

If one you love or like at all
looks at you as if appalled
or maybe just their posture falls
It isn't so mysterious

So choose your words just like your friends
For they can help you in the end
When you mess up then make amends
perhaps they'll understand

You cannot know all that they've seen
Few folks have spent each day serene
Many more see hate obscene
so help them if you can

Merriment

Do not seek your bliss
in only a kiss
Sometimes laughter can bring on the feeling

A beautiful face
A form full of grace
will not always turn out so appealing

A turn of the word
from straight to absurd
can live in your mind all your days

Sun rays in your heart
to break clouds apart
in the most unexpected of ways

So love if you must
in earnest and trust
but make sure they seek out your smile

For an edifice falls
with each drop of the ball
but a good laugh will keep all the while

Refill

Pour out the pitcher
Shake out the dregs
Give your mind peace
Give your dreams legs

Rinse out the residue
Scrub the sides clean
Live as a pauper
Live as a queen

Let the air enter
Let the drips dry
Find depth in each day
Find love in each eye

Refill your vessel
Drink deeply with friends
Don't wait 'til tomorrow
Don't wait 'til the end

Swallowed

Swallowed up by the world
with a suck and a swirl
and a deluge that carries you down

You float through each day
drifting farther away
and your feet miss the give of the ground

Grabbing tight with your hand
what can help you to stand
and pretend you can feel the rich soil

Still those buzzes and beeps
take your time and your sleep
and your days seem to reek with the spoil

Swimming upstream is tough
but enough is enough
so you thrash 'til you break through the surface

On the shore you collapse
and your weary hand grasps
what you sought all along, your true purpose

Shrinking Voice

The terror of a step
the shrinking of a voice
When pushed into the dark
When your fear had forced a choice

A day that's fraught with questions
that not a one can answer
When sunlight feels like nudity
when dreams feel like a cancer

You want life to be more
you want things to be better
yet getting out of bed
is an insurmountable endeavor

So you seethe each day with hope
and mourn the time that slips away
Listening for that shrinking voice's words
"It's time, Let's go, Today."

When We Began to Roar

The idea of her was whispers
told in boxy chambers
The conclusion unavoidable
and who could really blame her

Once power killed compassion
and the weak were left to languish
and towering bleached statues
smirked upon their anguish

She rose from scalding fires
she brushed away the ash
refusing mere perceptions
such as apron, gown or sash

Her heart gave her the bravery
but her mind gave her a sword
No more could she allow
the future we were moving toward

So the fight was started quietly
and grew into a din
For only those who led with love
could ever hope to win

Your Light

I love the light that shines from you
so subtle yet so radiant
it emanates with different hues
so rich in all its gradients

The layers of the love you hold
and share with all you meet
from flickering flame to spotlight bold
from crown to heart to feet

Some may seem so blind to it
but still it seeks their hearts
Its shine relentless, to them flits
to tear their walls apart

In spite of all the shadows cast
the dark cannot contain
Its lumination still will last
refusing e'er to wane

Nature

Cutting rock with water
moving earth with breezes
Creating vastly wonders
with everything it seizes

A storm can end forever
A perfect day slows time
The sunlight feeds your gardens
but lightning splits the pine

The real truth of existence
lives in the deepest wild
To the chipmunk your a giant
to the redwoods, just a child

When life becomes just taking
and lamenting what you lack
Do not underestimate
what can be taken back

The Love Within

In the name of love and charity
in rising solidarity
I wish now for the clarity
to see beyond disparity

In the name of sisters and of brothers
with the strength of fathers and of mothers
remove the hate that wants to smother
the joy of loving one another

In the name of wishes and of dreams
and the kindness sewing up the seams
we must listen to the haunting screams
if we wish to know what all this means

In the name of hands and hearts and heads
the laughs we've had and the tears we've shed
we must rebuke the lies we're fed
and seek the love within instead

Keys

Taking the time
to look through my mind
to tie up the pieces
of unraveled twine

Feeling the breaths
that fill up my chest
will they come with ease
or be fraught with unrest

Spending my night
in a room with no light
will I be awakened
or cower in fright

Watching my dreams
play out in scenes
some bring me comfort
some make me scream

Inside are the keys
to who I should be
And no one can find them
except maybe me

Son(s)

Fresh and clean
smooth and soft
murmuring
eyes aloft
A shine emits
from his new born soul
A story starts
his tale unfolds
Spectating joy
with endless wonder
his tiny spell
I've fallen under
and all my wishes
are now devoted
what once was dreams
has been promoted

At Day's End

When it feels like existence
drips down from your face
the last waking moments
your mind tries to chase
but life has been piled
upon once strong shoulders
and your arms seem to ache
like your problems were boulders
that you carried like oxen
through a jungle of wheat
each step you have taken
throbs within your feet
Now a place warm and cozy
is the one thing you seek
and the dreams from last night
deserve a fresh peek
So you wrap yourself soundly
in blankets and Zs
As a body in slumber
sets its addled mind free

Fractal Lessons

Our wish is to stop it
or somehow undo it
but really the hope is
we'll never go through it

Yet here the deeds stand
already done
there's blood on our hands
and nothing is won

A prophesy fed
a monster now sated
but there's still more to come
from the hate and the hated

There's no easy answer
no blanketing cure
so we hope for clear minds
and hearts that are pure

So spread not the terror
no assumptions applied
I chose peaceful resolve
rather then just a side

Opening

The slightest of bending
the softness of mercy
a heart inching open
words uttered less tersely

Showing up now as human
be it ever so subtle
Listening with ears open
not just forming rebuttals

Not a pouring emotion
just a blossoming fairness
Choosing words with a purpose
not dismissive and careless

With the stiffness of hinges
that crackle with rust
We can open that fortress
and build a new trust

Though our differences stand
let our barrier be rended
for this battle is known
for the joy it has ended

Call and Response

The skin that's been blighted
A hope unrequited
exposing the roots of the rage that's incited

Well shown in the annals
Is the way things were channeled
to turn certain humans from people to mammals

A continuous tamping
Through misandric vamping
and the boxes created were brutal and cramping

Yet their voices still rise
In unending reprise
our response to their call shows of what we're comprised

Bystander

Creep away quietly from your conventions
Muster your gusto to state your dissensions
The Self Immolation of constant neutrality
A witness to others perverting reality
Feel now the roiling that lurches your gut
Point out the space between open and shut
Pull down the curtain be it white, blue or black
Let words be your weapon and truth your attack

Frozen in the Dregs of Dreams

My mind will reel
My heart will pound
Each time my mind
Begins the sounds

The terror thuds
within my chest
It plagues my mind
Fresh from its rest

My fingers long
To claw the air
To thrash out at
The monster there

Sometimes escapes
A gasping cry
My tightening throat
So raw and dry

Powerless
I lie in wait
No way to fight
this looming fate

With certainty
This is the end
Then suddenly
I move again

The fear subsides
And all is well
Except those moments
Spent in hell

Avatar

Through babies and blood
Emotions that flood
I thank your allowance of use

I've hated you strongly
spoke ill of you wrongly
and tormented you with abuse

You've allowed me to dance
and supported my stance
when backing down would have been easy

You've carried this weight
Shown you'll not abate
in moving my heart to what frees me

I've drowned you in blame
And choked you in shame
when really you're quite like a treasure

So I'll show you respect
And no more will inspect
the damage I've done in my leisure

Let your imagination teach you

You can learn from wonder
You can grow from dreams
You can learn to see the world
for more them what it seems

You can tell a story
You can sing a song
You can paint a picture
that makes joy last twice as long

You can find a hideout
You can find a heart
You can find a friend
who will rejoice your hidden parts

Day 7

She
Understood
Nothing
Despite
A Constant
Yammering

Day 6

So sacrosanct our ways become
Always jerking back the reigns
Tethering so frailly spun
Upgraded by our minds to chains
Reveal the fear that makes it so
Damage that still resonates
An echoing we won’t let go
Yet fills us with a phantom hate

Day 5

Ferocity, yes my words can free it
Roaring loudly as I snatch your crown
Incite the fright yes my eyes can see it
Drop your face til it shatters on the ground
All you see now is me so believe it
Yes, I’m the lioness that took you down

Day 4

Threading yourself through impossible holes
Harnessing things that cannot be controlled
Using the ounces meant for our survival
Reclaiming our souls in the hope of revival
Sullying goodness to draw out the evil
Debating the meaning of civil and legal
Asking the fathoms of darkness for meaning
Yellowing memories of pain are now gleaming

Day 3

Warmth spreads
Engaging my senses
Dappling my face with red
Niceties melt in the molten
Engulfed by the singular
Swarmed with the details
Downward I turn
Away I drift
Yawning to stifle the screams

Day 2

Turn your thoughts from yesterday
Usurping today’s aspirations
Enveloping tomorrow in it’s dark hues
Sweep away the clouds that gather
Drown your fears in sunlight and bird songs
Articulate your intentions to the butterflies
Yearning is only the beginning

Day 1

Melancholia setting in
One day I’ll be free again
Now it seems improbable
Deceptively unsolvable
Alas the day has just begun
Yonder lives the days of fun

Bed

The stories a mattress can hold in its ribs
So easily tearing a finely cut jib
The horror humanity looses in darkness
The tales it could spin about shame and of starkness
The tears it has soaked in its pillowy skin
The motions of those who have worn it so thin
Twilight declarations made ugly by morning
The sunken in phantoms of bodies forlorning
The shame one has felt when the light has been snuffed
The quilt and the pillows hide secrets with fluff
Still it cradles us softly in slumbering stasis
Our shelter from life, our bouncy oasis

Winters End

The sharpened teeth of cold retracted,
the sun again will find its shine,
The lifeless world shall be redacted,
as snow and sun now intertwine,
The sleeping seeds suspend their slumber,
awakening their urge to sprout,
The lions gait begins to lumber,
his mighty roar now lacks in clout,
The grey and white turn blue and brown,
preparing for the luscious greens,
And icy towers melted down,
reveal the soil poised to preen

Our Souls Have Always Known

Foretold this day was,
etched in alabaster stone
and various accounts of it
were writ in ancient tomes
The oracles would speak of it
within a distant trance
And bards would bellow all about it
as the revelers danced
The witches saw it in their cauldrons
told from who knows where
The fairies spelled it out in flowers
woven in their hair
The mermaids spoke of it with fervor
from the murky depths
The maidens learned from unicorns
within their husky breath
Undoubtedly the gazers saw it told
when stars aligned
That when our eyes did finally meet
forever you'd be mine

National Poetry Month Part 5

April 25th:
The azure of evening
Brings comfort and cool
And the stars blink to life
In an e’re deepening pool

April 26th:
Keep skipping down the sidewalks
Keep dancing in the street
Your love for life is moving
so much more then your feet

April 27th:
My muscular memory
Recalls still the motions
Of flying in dreams
Across endless oceans

April 28th:
When one tends to vociferate
They care not which ears shatter
Alas the message they proclaim
Is akin to so much clatter

April 29th:
My eyes on the horizon
I'm sinking with the sun
but the moon comes to remind me
my day is far from done

April 30th:
Don't forfeit your whimsy
keep singing your song
for someday the world
may be singing along

Sear

Your light,
the shine that drew me closer led me to your whims
A husk,
I am just kindling to the heat you keep within
My end,
it's oh so evident by the sweat upon my back
The flames,
within you lick at me and I want to lick them back

National Poetry Month part 4

April 19th:
Each day I am grateful
For those select figures
Who have crossed my horizon
And made it much bigger

April 20th:
She laughed
because she didn’t know just what else she could do
She smiled
because the pain she felt was so profoundly true

April 21st:
Your smile is in a dialect
That only you’ve created
But luckily it is the phrase
most easily translated

April 22nd:
Sometimes art flows like the seas
Destroying what the past had built
It runs you through with joy and pain
Until your heart can feel the hilt

April 23rd:
Yesterday is not worth chasing
That piece of time’s expired
Instead find what will make today
Feel equally inspired

April 24th:
What grounded the fair butterfly
No gentle breeze in spring?
Alas though winds were plentiful
She’d forgotten she had wings

Queen

Regality rings from each step
Though she was never crowned
Her face it brims with peace and joy
As if she’s never frowned

You feel her walk into a room
Although she’s unannounced
Her smiles burst like explosions
Her laugh is poised to pounce

Her arms fill in your empty spaces
When held in her embrace
Sometimes she stumbles publicly
Giving clumsiness a grace

She openly donates her tears
When yours don’t seem enough
She knows the things that need be said
Dispensing of the fluff

You know her eyes see so much more
Then she chooses to reveal
You know her heart has room to hold
The many that she’ll steal

The Case for Names

Various voices sounding aloud
a swell of ideas from a disjointed crowd
faces of red, words filled with fight
screaming in anger, wailing with plight
guttural rage spills from the fringe
some who have added a choke or a twinge
cacophonic pain of what is just life
tired of ignorance, wasted from strife
phrases decaying just as they speak them
The louder the voice the more the words weaken
like stones or like bullets shot from too far
they may feel your sting but care not who you are

National Poetry Month part 3

April 13th:
I don’t always find it easy
To come up with a verse
But I know if I didn’t
My life would be much worse

To see my pain on paper
Made up of all these letters
Gives lightness to the hurting
And makes me feel much better

April 14th:
When they finally see you
And the way that you shine
They’ll know of a wonder
That none can define

April 15th:
I realize this statement
Will just seem like conjecture
But I bet the fur of unicorns
Is the most sublime of textures

April 16th:
When the need to fly embraces you
When a passion burns within
Unleash it with tenacity
To scare away life’s din

April 17th:
Worries that hide in the deepest recesses
Snowballing forth with the smallest of stresses
You, their creator hath nothing to fear
For ‘tis you that accepts that the worry sleeps here

April 18th:
“I can’t stop now”
Oh yes you can
Or better still
I’ll lend a hand

The Rabid Pit

As my thoughts go sinking
into that rabid pit
that replays the occasions
of the worst sins I've commit
I see the twisted faces
of those whose hearts I've broken
I see the devastation caused
by careless words I've spoken
I long to do these differently
I yearn to take it back
I find that hitting bottom
is the opposite of black
These moments make me grimace
and cause a bitter pain
My mind has saved these moments
so I may see them again
But realization cometh
like a flood straight from the sea
How selfish when I see this
that I still just dwell on me

National Poetry Month Part 2

April 7th:
The teeth that grit
That jaw that sets
A heart forgives
But ne’er forgets

April 8th:
A day that holds unbridled joy
An end that makes beginnings
There’s finally time to rest your mind
And celebrate your winnings

April 9th:
When you are crying for one you miss
Be sure to count your tears
Let each recall a moment of joy
You felt when they were near

April 10th:
If bending down to touch your toes
Is something you can’t fathom
At least be thankful of the fact
That you even have them

April 11th:
When taking in a wonder
Our eyes are very clever
They blink so we’re reminded
That nothing lasts forever

April 12th:
His love is bigger than my sorrow
His joy is bigger than my pain
His laughter is a voice that bellows
Love’s most perfect of its refrains

Yes You Now

When you had those sweet moments all to yourself
what did your soul try to tell you today
The journey your mind took to its shagri-la
The sweet revelation you sent on its way

You said to yourself it was only a dream
Though blissful it seemed unbelievable
Your life couldn’t handle that much of a change
Twas a glory that seemed unachievable

Still now you can feel it inside of yourself
Don’t deny that it’s still ruminating
It grows deep within like a joy or a pain
A passion that’s real, unabating

So what’s wrong with grabbing it, use both your hands
March with it, see where it could take you
Ply it with work and effort and love
Try to see if those wishes can come true

You may not believe that it’s what you need most
So then why does it fill you with aching
What good does it do to just sit around
And ponder the chance you’re not taking

National Poetry Month

I have been writing poems each day for National Poetry Month and posting them on Facebook since not everyone follows me on facebook I figure I would share them here. Here are the 1st six


April 1st:
You need not vibrant lips
to speak of vibrant things
Just something in your heart
that makes it want to sing

April 2nd:
When days are dreary it's hard to see
the joy your life can manifest
So close your eyes and listen for
The dream your heart wants to confess

April 3rd:
A face that’s lined with destinations
Past and yet to come
Lined with joy and consternation
That have and shall be done

April 4th:
Now that spring has donned her crown
And kissed our heavy brow
We shall take our steps through awakened worlds
And conquer them somehow

April 5th:
His smile somehow made the sadness disappear
and blossom with intense pain
at the same time

April 6th:
Sleep prevents my thoughts
And thoughts prevent my sleep
What a time to recollect
the secrets that I keep

When Dreams Get Ugly

It is just a step
that is all you need take
though your legs tend to wobble
as if they would break

Crawl if you must
whatever is needed
to move farther from
what has maimed and impeded

Drag what is left
into a new space
Claw, scream, and fight
this is no time for grace

No matter how much
you have felt it and bled it
this is not the end
until you have said it

Follow me

Follow me said the sun
as it spread out its rays
and bathed me in light
so warm in its way

Follow me said the wind
as it threw back my hair
and blew away cobwebs
I ne'er knew were there

Follow me said the stream
as it twisted along
and the bubbles it made
sang an unyielding song

Follow me said the stars
as they twinkled above
hearing all of the wishes
I had e'er spoken of

Follow me said the moon
casting shadow and shine
fearing no darkness
not even mine

Follow me said my heart
dreams can fade oh so fast
you have to live life
if you want it to last

Me, Myself and She

She lurks in my being
not screaming, instead
she whispers so softly
her words in my head

Her words are like daggers
"I've been here just waiting"
I've known it so long
the loving the hating

How could I embrace her
she'd silly and sappy
she cries when she's mad
and cries when she's happy

She's headstrong and sexy
and thinks so specifically
all that it has been
and all that it could/should be

Endlessly dreaming
constantly yearning
still the words she has spoken
are echoing, burning

If she is the me
that lives deep inside
then I guess I should finally
give this a try

Dark Goddess

I want to fight like I want to fuck
Unfettered and unstoppable
With inherent devastation
Unequaled and untoppleable
I am the Alpha activated
Unfed and untameable
My hunger, underestimated
Unfurled and now unnameable
Brace yourselves for ecstasy
Unseen and undefined
The pain will bring a rhapsody
Unknown and unrefined
Should you hope to tame me
Understand you’ll be unwon
For those who wish to claim me
Are undeniably undone

Fight

I feel an urge to fight
To let my power flow
To punch and kick and bite
To let my warrior show
I long to leave my mark
With teeth and claws and bruises
To verify my bark
With the method battle chooses
No sword or ax will triumph
For she who has no options
Wields this primal violence
And has patience not for caution
Just an overwhelming rush
That never will be sated
To rip and tear and crush
Til her need has been abated

Ancient One

I am the storm that savages
I am the kiss that ravages
I am the tree that petrifies
The lightning that electrifies
I am the unavoidable
That makes the pain enjoyable
I am the darkness covering
The doubts that once were hovering
I am the docile courtesan
That quietly disrupts your plans
I am the dream you can’t escape
The tingle itching at your nape
I am the sacred coveted
What was left once sin was shed
I am the crack within the earth
That through my womb instructs rebirth

Spring awakens

Her eyes peeked open.
The new light is harsh even when filtered through strains of gloom and cold. She turned on her side but the possibility of sleep is too far diminished to recapture. She laid in her drowsy state, slowly extending her arms for a stretch. She flexed her feet and toes and a soft groan escaped her pink lips. The bed is still so soft and comforting but she knows that the time for sleep is over.

She rolled to her back and and covered her face with her hands, as if hiding from the realization that there is work to do. She drew a deep breath and let it out in a slow sigh, still drunk from her glorious dreams. As the gloom outside began to dissipate the light went from soft to jubilant through her curtains.

She finally shook loose the slumber. It had been a long one and filled with dreams of joy and hope and beautiful colors. One she desperately needed to share with the world. She moved onto to the shower and she took her time there. After such a long sleep she needed to wash away all the stiffness. The water was warm and eased her reawakened muscles. It cleared her head and made the air feel new and fertile.

She called up a strong wind to help dry her. It gusted and whipped around all that had shaken loose. It rearranged things so that they could grow. It also seemed to whisk away the worries that had plagued the land in the days of her slumber. The clouds grew lighter and fluffier. They once again moved with purpose and made room for the sun.

She danced and the change began. Plants bloomed, animals coupled and birthed a new generation. Food supplies were restarted and there was a beauty and newness everywhere one looked. She sang and nature sang back with songs of renewal and repurpose. The once abandoned ideas took on new life. The earth itself took on new life as it found its rhythm within her song. She bid her farewells to her sister who could now start her slumber until she was needed again.

She was filled with gratitude for the rest she had gotten that helped her create again in ways that were more beautiful then before. Yet unseen wonders were now possible. She worked with a desire to outdo her previous years creations, but that was her way. She longed for smiles and joy. She ached for the freedom and renewal she was able to bring to others. Perhaps she went overboard with her expression but it only seemed to delight mankind more each time she did.

As the last petal opened and the last bird hatched she waved hello to her other sister. She had an edge, a fire that could scorch and breed madness. The time for soft touches had come to and end, but the light of the day would continue to reign for a short time longer.

As she waved goodbye to the earth again and retreated to her room she dreamt of the sister she had never met. The one with red hair and a soft heart. The one who made the hardest decisions of all of them and did it with such beauty and dignity. She was her shadow in a way, her darkest sister who was also capable of breathtaking beauty. She envied her color palate but not her purpose. Each sister had her job to do and couldn't imagine doing the other's.

As the sun grew stronger the heat soothed her back into her sleep. As she drifted off she was excited for the dreams to come and pondered what new glory she could bring the world when she awoke again.

The Endless Round

My thoughts like a pugilist
knocking me airless
my thoughts are so heavy
but my actions are careless
Ducking and swaying
and doing the dance
but I still feel the blows
and the dumbfounded trance
can't get my focus
can't dodge the fist
the mat is so bloody
from the knuckles I've kissed
but I must stand again
cause the bell just won't sound
and perhaps lumps and gashes
are where answers are found
so I rise once again
and I let the hits come
for this all will resolve
when the pain has gone numb

Close

We are close like the earth is close to the sun
We are orbiting drawn by our need
Not knowing the impact until we are done
Like the trainer that loosens the lead

Facadic Bridges

We all have thoughts within our heads
that are wild and weird and loud
but we fear we would be judged and shunned
if we spoke our thoughts out loud

A fantasy or theory
that seems so very foreign
it surely would be met with looks
and words inciting torment

We are not sure if we believe
and yet they are recurring
but we dare not let it trickle out
lest others start inferring

A meaning or interpretation
read upon their faces
A horror they have gleaned from words
that represent just traces

A statement sought within your brain
that's aching to be born
Interpreted as hateful
as ignorance, as porn

Is the truth in their reactions
one that we cannot accept
or is the chasm that's between us
been deceitful of its depth

On this there's no authority
for your brain is your own
So we choose facadic bridges
rather then face life alone

Hollow

Full of feelings I have no names for
Painted memories I have no frames for
Stains of past and dregs of future
The drops of blood that escape the suture
Leaving trails, marking paths
Reducing me to just two halves
Missing nothing yet still empty
still the hollow won't exempt me
Tears still shed, heart still broken
The smile I wear a worthless token

A Dream Repeating

Threaded fingers, mesmerized
Lost within your ravenous eyes
Bodies moving to a rhythm
That makes trespasses feel forgiven

Profoundly feeling this piece of time
Within my skin and up my spine
Soft and hard inside and out
A rapture that can kill the doubt

Soaked in moments quickly fleeting
A flame that bursts, a dream repeating
Collapse into a new addiction
That transcends life’s mundane condition

Perfect

You are not perfect and why should you be
but more importantly why would you be
who was it that told you that it was expected
Someone you know whose shortcomings projected
A movie you saw, or a hot TV show
do they decide or do they just know
Life is more fun when we are unique
it adds something more charisma, mystique
Be bold in your differences, show them with pride
Let all the hidden things in you outside
Leave people gasping, let their mouths hang
Try not to tiptoe, come in with a bang
Redefine beauty with your joyful spirit
Sing your song loud so everyone hears it

Betrayal

Undaunted I stare at you
try not to glare at you
Hoping my look is conveying enough

Your story jumps here to there
Alibi in disrepair
knowing full well I am poised to rebuff

You've underestimated
Just why I've hesitated
Let you exhaust your most fraudulent tongue

Despite what you've spoken
The bond is now broken
Of all of the words you've said I believe none

Release

Crawl deep into those crevices
that hide the poison thorns
Excavate the premises
that leave you so forlorn
Burn that twisted effigy
you created of your self
Shun the sloth and lethargy
that placed you in this hell
Sacrifice austerities
that bar you from mankind
Break now with impunity
the molds that crush your mind
Venture out among the flesh
they are not all your foe
You'll see how different souls can mesh
if you could just let go

Bump

Oh injurious moon
Oh treacherous night
as malevolence blooms
I prepare now to fight

The darkness consumes
all in its path
The terror resumes
with a slow evil laugh

My blade slices swift
The blood warm and surging
its claw now adrift
its agony purging

Its bellow rings loud
through the silence it broke
the sound like a crowd
drowning in smoke

The blade finds its place
upon the beasts neck
and aloft soars its face
hurtling on its trek

A unison thump
twixt its body and head
the thing that went bump
in the night is now dead

Me

I attack with the power of myself
bestowed by ancestry
grown by life
I have mastered the art of me

Finding Joy

Find the thing that swells your heart
until it almost comes apart
convinced now you could float or fly
the feeling of it makes you cry
Why can't life feel this way each minute
rebuild you life from deep within it
A shining tower built from rapture
so bright other hearts are captured

Let's see what happens

Flung hopes ride gentle breezes
spreading far and wide
some land in ditches
others on mountains
some make it to the stars
but all are heard.

History

The aged hand hath writ
a history restarted
full of goons and twits
who exploit the brokenhearted

The paper turns to dust
but the watchful ones remember
when our justice set to rust
and our quiet meant surrender

So spill forth with your words
Wail them if it warrants
so that change can now be culled
from these innundating torrents

Figurehead

Clawless and clueless
he swipes at his prey
but somehow they feared him
and all shrank away

Giving their power
for it seemed of no use
they abided the roaring
and took the abuse

He wanted to lead them
they all fell in line
not seeing the danger
though they would in time

They blocked the cave mouth
please don't go inside
but they were the victims
of their fears and their pride

So into the maw
they all seemed to vanish
and those who would help
were chastised and banished

In darkness they cowered
convinced by his roar
not realizing there was
no light anymore

Warrior Woman

The warrior woman emerges each day
stepping her toes to the line
armed with a heart that is open and free
and a wisdom that reaches through time
She never attacks but stonelike she stands
advancing with boldly made steps
She leaves her impression in day dreams and smiles
fueled by the tears she has wept
She loves unabashedly, helps with abandon
and heals with uncowering spirit
Her words work like magic on souls once thought lost
with a truth for those willing to hear it
Queen, witch, or sorceress she pays no mind
to the names that so many have called her
She knows who she is and what she must do
no matter what fate may befall her

The Most Important Questions- A Rare Disease Day poem

When you stare into nothing what do you see?
Do you think of the person that you used to be?
Are you wondering in time just what you'll become?
Do you think of the day that this fight will be done?
Do you dwell on the memories of what made you smile?
Do you miss all the words you've not said in awhile?
Do you miss that though wobbly your legs could once run?
How many times have you redefined fun?
Do you even know you're the meaning of brave?
Do you lose hope, like me, that you still can be saved?
Is it wrong that I ask that you always return,
So that through your example I continue to learn?
Patience and value for each gifted minute
Joy and connection and love with no limit
Just how do you do it, Also how can I?
But most of all how do I get through goodbye?

Name

I don't know what's worse the churning or blushing
I see you approach and my blood sets to rushing
a thirst or a hunger I can't quite explain it
the feeling I'm feeling I can't even name it
a twisting, a pulling a fever, a swelling
my mouth never speaks but my body is telling
I know that you must know but its never mentioned
and so I remain in this state of suspension
my mind says go for it then no don't you dare
so there I stand melting and locked in a stare
you leave once again and my heart drops in shame
perhaps someday soon you'll at least know my name

In The Deep Woods

In the deep woods
she hatches and cries
and crawls for the very first time
In the deep woods
she is honed from the dirt
she is wrapped in the leaves and the vines
In the deep woods
her voice how it bellows
her spine, how it seems to unbend
In the deep woods
she is cleansed by the rainfall
her fear blows away in the wind
In the deep woods
her words grow the flowers
her spirit runs wild as the wolves
In the deep woods
her will is the oak
and her heart is the pounding of hooves
In the deep woods
she is rooted so deeply
she flies to the tops of the trees
In the deep woods
her soul is reborn
she is beautiful, mighty and free

I Am She

I am she who wields the sword
to fight the rut
to cut the cord
to dominate my universe
to carve the path
I shall traverse

I am she who casts the spell
to turn my mind
away from hell
to find joy in the tiny places
and see the love
that hides in faces

I am she who bears the load
who likes to choose
the untread road
life's lessons guide me ever farther
when life gets hard
I get harder

I am she who roots in love
who digs in deep
removes the gloves
I shed the cage that holds my heart
I'll risk the chance
it's torn apart

Just Words

I fasten new meaning to innocent words
the things that they said aren't the things that I heard
my mind seems intent on hostile derivation
assuming the worst without hesitation
a drop of sarcasm a smidgen of spite
a simply spoke syllable didn't sound right
contemptuous consonants, volatile vowels
I feel the fury boil up from my bowels
the obvious judgement that sits on their face
oh how I long to put them in their place
the smiles fade too quickly becoming a smirk
it takes a saint to hold back from these jerks
just as my spine is shored up for attack
I breathe for a moment and take a step back
despite the sincerity they have or have not
what lured me to this trap in which I've been caught?
the impact imagined, the ire misplaced
they don't get to choose if I will be disgraced
I am the owner of these very ears
I am the curator of what sounds they hear
so I block out the angry the rude and absurd
and all that remains are quite simply just words

Honeymoon

Oh lover, the days that the sun was so bright
and we ran through the meadows hands clasping so tight
The days seemed unending yet the nights were much more
The safety of darkness, the bed and the floor
Unfettered our passion, Unshackled our hearts
Exploring our threshholds as we took them apart
The veils we erected were now torn away
we lost track of time, of night and of day
we built our own kingdom again and again
for the world could no longer keep shutting us in
dreams were alive and fantasy walked
and music was made when e'er we talked
Your hands oh so gently holding my face
my eyes were done searching my heart found its place
profoundly we loved every inch of each other
'til life crept back in and our flame was then smothered
the trappings of humans had caught up at last
our time as divine ones had now become past
never again were our naked souls shown
a tragedy written by our hearts alone

Alarm

The yawn of boredom the alarm
The day we live grows very late
We fear the loss we fear the harm
and the happening on which we wait
Willing victims we are in time
even the sunshine is a curse
our spirits scream and weep and pine
o'er the stagnation we proudly nurse
only seized by fear and anger
not the sea and stars and sky
everyday we feel in danger
though we cannot be sure why
feed your mind a different flavor
something happy something sweet
there still are moments yet to savor
there still are journeys in your feet
jump and climb and go exploring
scare yourself and hug your friends
hear the way that life's imploring
for even great tales have an end

Seek

Embody the magic within you
Go conquer and conjure and fly
There isn't a thing that you can't do
Except for the things you don't try
Go travel the ways of your spirit
Find it's freedom and make it your own
It's calling you now can't you hear it?
and if you must go it alone
Don't be the size others make you
Instead be the size of your dreams
It's not up to others to take you
For we each swim within our own streams
So go find your way to the river
The place where you truly feel whole
Til your there you may stumble and shiver
but the finish is where lies your soul

Duck

A butterfly named Beulah was flitting all around
She went from flower to flower floating 'cross the ground
She spotted some chrysanthemums and settled for a snack
But as she started sipping she heard a lonely quack
She peeked over the petals and saw the yellow fluff
She wasn't sure just what it was she'd never seen that stuff
The little duckling saw her and so he quacked again
But butterflies were loners and rarely made new friends
He did look oh so snuggly like clouds or moss or fur
But Beulah knew of danger so still she wasn't sure
He blinked his little eyes at her and tilted his soft head
She poised herself to fly away but drifted down instead
Just then a bird came swooping in and snatched the butterfly
The duckling was so startled that he then started to cry
His Mama waddled over and nuzzled his soft face
He said "Oh Mama this time I was sure I'd get a taste!"

Infatuation

You just cannot help it though you try as you can
Your mind falls upon them again and again
A vision unshaken that sneaks in your mind
A magical creature the first of their kind
A light shines within them a sparkle a flame
The tales in your mind and your heart aren’t the same
Your eyes see a person your heart sees a dream
Your memory paints them in ways you’ve not seen
Your mind can’t stop going to that place they exist
It’s relentless unbridled yet only a tryst

The Work of Art

A head holds words as can a page
Of any color and any age
A galaxy or grain of sand
A cannon or a shaky hand
But with these worlds come other thoughts
of times we blushed and times we fought
When devastation was our flavor
be it choked upon or swished and savored
So then blue skies become monsoons
and manors become tiny rooms
much like the dust upon our shelves
the walls that stand we built ourselves
Time now to lay askew the stones
that snare our souls and bind our bones
Our minds are meant to drift and soar
not fester chained to others bore
We've suffered sin and forged our follies
Faked our smiles through others jollies
but now we heal through reckoning
the truth in you is beckoning
so find the art that lives inside
and tell us why you've smiled or cried
it's not a burden you must hold
release and let your wings unfold

Roles

You are a servant, I am a tyrant
I am assertive, You are compliant
You tend to wallow, I tend to simmer
I seem to ignite, You seem to shimmer
You long for peace, I long for justice
I am the canines, You are the bicuspids
You are the soldier, I am the queen
I am the dirty, You are the clean
You are the hoping, I am the knowing
I am the brandished, You are the glowing

Conquer

Kick in the door
Enter with purpose
Ready yourself
Ring up the circus
You know what to do
Let’s get this thing going
Hold tightly to you
Resist to and fro-ing
Excise all the doubters
No need to abide
Know that the pouters
Only stand with their pride

Becoming

The mask has slipped
The covering torn
so tightly gripped
so avidly worn
but then a breeze
a patch of light
it's shed with ease
no more a fight
The costume falls
the bareness felt
A new form calls
No clasp no belt
Free and flowing
Wild and strong
A look of knowing
A magic song
A step toward power
So unashamed
Feel them glower
then step again

Self Inflicted

Its a normal day
so they like to say
but the memories come
and they cause dismay

All the moments lost
hold a greater cost
like a magic lamp
that was found then tossed

So the tears they verge
but I don't deserve
the release that's felt
from a cleansing purge

So I breath most deep
so the sobs will keep
and the slippery slope
grows so starkly steep

Now the light that falls
kind of creeps and crawls
Maybe someday soon
it won't hurt at all

Regression

As the swallowed sun turns the light to dusk
And the day slowly sheds its crackling husk
The dark sneaks swiftly, glaring so
like a rasping beast at a mortal foe
Threatening the peace of a well spent time
Where alone and afraid conquer reason,rhyme
So your breath draws quick like a slicing blade
and you think the thoughts that your mind forbade
For the madness took so long to heal
and your smiling face hid the things you'd feel
But the ink of night edges closer still
'til it crushes light and it strangles will
So you curl up tightly and tuck your head
And you cry what tears there are to shed
Then your body gives and you find your sleep
though your certain still that the monsters creep
Any moment now your skin will be shorn
but your opening eyes show a rising morn

Solace

Crawl into my arms
Safe from all the others
Hidden from the harm
Just forget how life can smother
Bring me all your tears
I'll wipe them from your eyes
The guilt, regret, and fear
that leaves you paralyzed
I'll hold you close to me
til all the tears have cried
and search then for the you
that has languished deep inside

Since then

How barren is the meadow
that once did bloom with dreams
The nights once filled with music
now raucous with my screams
The days once light with breezes
now howl with brutal wind
The blankets worn in comfort
now tattered, torn, and thin
The tears are ever flowing
where smiles would once alight
My arms now filled with empty
have lost their will to fight
I have no expectation
that more shall come then doom
So here I'll wilt and wither
my happiness entombed

Star

A tarnished star that hides its shine
full of joy despite its woe
a rare soul, one that magic finds
you n'er believe that it will go

I pray my star will not extinguish
but blink for eons since I've gone
My admiration will n'er diminish
within its heart I will live on

Wobegone

Prop me up today
I feel I've reached my limit
Make it go away
before I'm swallowed up within it
Hide me in a cave
and seal it with a boulder
It's solitude I crave
as the frozen world gets colder
Drop me from a plane
into a thick deep wood
So I can shed the pain
and remember what is good
Shoot me to a star
so I can miss the soil
where I'll be out too far
to resent the mortal coil

The Waking Day

As the sky glows a light blue from its bottom
a new day comes
Not promised and yet it comes gloriously
The darkness dissipates inch by inch
A lone star shines proudly, still open for wishes
I realize there is no dread or worry in this moment
A once rare gift this feeling
Hope, as bright as that star
Happiness, as rich as the blue transitioning the night to dawn
It brandishes itself on the precipice of the day
Dancing on the wire that connects fleeting time and new purpose
Pushing me to make new promises
the ones I could never keep before

Blossom

Bloom my darlings
burst forth your colors
reveal your offerings to the world
Spread you fragrance far and wide
Mystify them with its richness
satiate them with its graceful presence
Translate the miracle of sun and rain
reassure them of the benefits of both
Show them the beauty that dirt can produce
Dance lightly in the breezes
and furiously in the storms
Prove to them the possibility of survival
through all things
Sleep if you must when the cold and darkness
come again
But when spring returns to you
Don't be afraid to blossom

Unrequited

Please just let me fall
it won't hurt
you won't feel a thing
The waves will swallow me
the clouds will float me into the stratosphere
I will dance through my days
and sing loudly to anyone who will listen
don't kill the music, not yet
I will live a life story in my mind
an instant classic of adventure and undying love
the kind that makes heroes real
and everyone is beautiful and good
don't write The End, not yet
I will climb mountains
swim oceans
slay dragons
wander through the desert or the deep dark wood
all in your honor
heralding my love for you
don't leave me stranded, not yet
Please just let me fall
you won't feel a thing
I promise

Crush

My being gives a poetry, to your once artless world
Somehow just by knowing me your oyster now bears pearls
The thoughts of me that plague you have become your silver lining
You drift 'twixt life and daydreams, a victim to your pining
My words sit heavy in your mind, translated and decoded
Yet if the meaning spelled itself you still don't feel you'd know it
My nature unpredictable, as often is the weather
So lost in me you shall remain for now, perhaps forever

Ker

A simple scream can call her forth
no need for ornate rituals
but once you feel her savage force
the need becomes habitual
She has no need for your desire
she knows no vanity
The lust her presence can inspire
can cause calamity
Her gaze becomes a raging need
you cannot abandon
Her words more wise then you e'er could read
like God himself had planned them
She takes her leave most suddenly
never giving cause
Your left listless and slovenly
with what escaped her claws

Fragmented

I'm not used to this,
the feeling of an open wound
hemorrhaging and yearning for unguent calm
The feeling of a mannequin left naked in a main street window
The sagging wallpaper threatening to fall and expose my scribbles of madness
to a room full of prim and pomp
The heat leaves me writhing my clothes
The anxiety no longer needs this costume
The stray hair loosened from my meticulous bun,
savagely hanging, mocking
My sweet smile and tight neck challenge one another
The spreading pink hue of realization
emblazoned on my neck and chest
The betrayal of it all sinks deep inside

"Is anyone else warm?" has various meanings right now

'Can anyone else admit that playing a role for the sake of being liked and accepted is absolute fuckery and an abhorrent deviation of human nature?'
The wallpaper holds much more effectively then my tongue despite it's age, and mine.
I slip, I expose to them a true taste of who I really am.

The gasps are amusing, the sudden exodus a hilarity. The remaining solitude is golden.

Just the evening shadows and I, the way the universe intended.

The End is a Beginning

Perhaps I am still dreaming
since I've awakened just before
but the tears that now are streaming
say beyond you there's no more
No greater love is waiting
for you are resolution
for a hope that was degrading
with the earth's each revolution
Somehow at our first meeting
there was an inner knowing
Twas not just a completing
but a constant overflowing

Short and mushy part 2

Your smile like an awakening
a purpose found and filled
A potent joy that overwhelms
unwavering, undistilled
---------------------------------------

When you're standing, it's majesty
When you're dancing, it's grace
When you're leaving, a travesty
When your gone I'm misplaced
---------------------------------------

Lost and Found

A redundantly spent friday evening
as common as it’s boring
Just as I was set to leaving
a timeless love found snoring

An envelope sealed with a kiss
found lodged inside a wall
So sad to see this moment missed
a love unknown by all

A heart unfurled and waving proud
upon these yellow pages
A love that longed to live out loud
once lost amongst the ages

It spoke of lofty aspirations
of daydreams and of truth
Alas the senders inspirations
abandoned in this booth

A tale of times now long since passed
things proper and forbidden
Tumultuous and overcast
the pain had overridden

A heart can hope for happy ends
the mind sadly knows better
The marked sentiment one sends
within a farewell letter

Short and Mushy

Your love, like a crater
is so deep and so vast
it's cosmic in nature
and birthed from a blast

An impact upon me
that those who know, see
The chains once so heavy
now broken, I'm free


------------------------------------

A giggle is magic
A smile is divine
it conquers the tragic
that used to be mine

A kiss is fulfilling
A hug is the cure
for a past that was chilling
the futures now sure

Song lyrics: Moments I forget

There's always gonna be the moments that I forget
that you ain't here with me I don't believe it yet
How do I get through this
How do I learn to live without
There's always gonna be the moments you should have seen

Maybe your out of pain
maybe your in a better place
None of it means a thing
when all I want is to see your face

There's always gonna be your voice inside my head
despite the pain I feel and all those tears I may shed
I know it's not the same
but it just might keep me sane
There's always gonna be a place for us in dreams
--------------------------------------------------

Click here to hear it!

Song lyrics: Lately

Sometimes I feel like the world is always smiling
Most times I feel like the world is usually lying
Maybe someone somewhere really wants to help you
But I say while I wait I'm gonna see what I can do

Lately, I don't even bother
Lately, I need escape like I need water
Lately, I've just been climbing
Cause Baby I hit the bottom with the very worst of timing

Sometimes I think that I could really fake it
Most times fake walls me in and I just can't take it
Sometimes deception can make you oh so couth
Most times all I want is just a little truth
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Now Go Sing Along!

Tradition part 3

Here is Part 1 if you haven't read it yet!

And Here is part 2!


When I awoke, I felt restored in spite of my wounds, and a feeling of lightness spread over me. I was free. My duty had been done and was successful. I even laughed out loud with a sort of giddiness that made me feel a little uncomfortable after it was over. I exited the cave and found my bag and coverings behind the rock where I had left them. My love’s remains were gone, I had hoped to perhaps bury them, but a part of me wondered if it wasn’t some trick of the beast that had materialized her in the first place. I donned my gear and began my journey back. It was still morning, and there was a bright sun that shone with a warmth that had been absent the day before. The forest sang with life, and the sound of drops from the melting snow played a sort of music to accompany my walk.

I stopped halfway through and ate the remaining third of my meal from the previous day. I relived my triumph with each bite. Once I was finished and refilled with pride, I carried on. As the sinking sun dropped purple curtain across the sky, I reached the cabin and was greeted with a raucous noise. The celebration which had been hesitantly waiting to begin exploded upon my arrival. The joy on their faces reflected my own and some even surpassed it. There were copious amounts of food, music, and dancing. I even saw some mothers clutching their young sons and crying.

One of the elders who had trained me sidled up to me when things had quieted a bit and asked how it had gone. I relayed my story, leaving out the presence of my dream girl. He smiled proudly and clapped me on the back, but I could see a disappointment in his eyes. I asked what troubled him, and he simply said, “Do not despair. Just promise you will help train the next appointee.” “Of course!” I replied. He simply nodded his head and moved off to talk to some other revelers. I was then swept off to a warm bath in the cottage. As the layers from my journey dissolved into the bath, I watched the water, dirt and blood combine into a color not unlike the beast. I shuddered within, and despite the shedding of my travels in this tub I knew that I would not get over this experience quickly.

An older woman brought me to the backyard near the fire to rinse off the residue of the bath. As she dumped the warm water over my head, it rained over me like a wave of comfort. The warm feeling spread, and I bowed my head to let it wash over me. I watched the ground as she poured the third and final bucket over me and saw the remnants of the cave forming a swirl within the puddles of water that had formed. Then I noticed a glob no larger than a bubble, and perhaps it was a bubble after all, but it seemed more solid then that. I was fully shivering now, not because of the cold air, but because the idea of bringing any piece of that beast back with me seemed like a betrayal of reality.

The woman wrapped a warm blanket around me and led me inside. I sat thinking of the bubble and realized that I had not defeated the monster at all. I had only killed it. I had killed it and then given it the means to return. My blood was all over that cave, moist and red. This was the vehicle it needed to return. I was its new creator. It was then that I realized my true role, that I was a part of a cycle now, a cycle that brought nightmares, pain, and despair; a cycle that resulted in the heroes and their victories becoming fodder for the next revolution to progress. An ever rolling wheel that turns flesh to dust, then mud, then flesh again.

Celebrate

Here begins a brand new story
An exciting tale of truth and glory
Promises of a shining year
Plots unfolding, future clear
Youth and age begin a dance
Brace yourself within your stance
Incite your dreams now, cast your wishes
Reel them in like thoughts and fishes
Try a new thing everyday
Hear the things your heart will say
Daydream often as you can
Always hold tight helping hands
You can always try once more
Reach up higher then before
Every moment make it better
Eat some ice cream, write a letter
Seek yourself somehow someway
Enjoy who you are everyday

Destination

A peak so high there seemed no top
and yet he still would climb
He never showed a need to stop
He never had the time
The clouds that ringed the precipice
Were ones he could see through
His arms would ache, his aim would miss
Yet his distance grew and grew
The path he used would peter out
He'd pause just for a minute
And with an effort and a shout
He'd find his footing in it
Though slips occurred he never fell
We'd watch him as he rose
His hands would bleed, his feet would swell
But his eyes would never close
He knew one day with certainty
The peak was his to claim
And at the zenith he would see
The peak did bear his name

Tradition Part 2

Part 1 is here in case you haven't seen it!





As blood poured from her, the rest of the beast emerged from the cave and began tearing her apart, piece by piece. From my chest emerged a sound I had never heard before; rage and pain co-mingled in this roar that escaped me, and just as it dropped the last shredded piece of her perfect skin, I charged at it full force.

My veins bursting with rage I hurtled toward it like a bullet. I sunk both of my fists into its carmine chest and screamed in its face. Only then did I realize it had no face: no discernible eyes, nose, or mouth. There was only a head shaped lump atop its massive humanoid body. At that moment its thick claws stabbed into my arms and extracted me from its chest. As it pulled me backward from the wounds I had opened, I saw blood gushing into the empty cavities. I quickly realized, though, that the monster wasn’t bleeding, it was healing. The blood filled the cavity, but rather then spilling, it congealed. The beast was whole again.

As I lay on the ground bleeding and whimpering it turned and began to recede back into the caves maw. My pain turned to rage and I grabbed its ankle and dug my fingers into its gelatinous flesh. As I squeezed, its flesh came through my fingers like dough. The muck of flesh then spread over my hand and seemed to hold me fast to the beast’s leg. It dragged me into the cave with it raking my flesh across the rocks as it did. When we reached the heart of the cave, it threw its leg forward, and with that I was released from it and slammed soundly against the cave wall. My shoulders took the brunt of the blow.

I feigned unconsciousness and took the opportunity to watch it. It sat silently facing away from me. It made no noise and had no breath. The only sound in the cave at all was my breath and intermittent drips down near the entrance. It sat in the fashion of a frog with its knees up near where its ears should have been. I studied it looking for anything humanoid about it besides its shape. As I observed it, I began to realize the vulnerability we have as humans. As safe as we feel with our skulls and spines and ribcages, we still have eyes and orifices to attack. Skin protects us from the elements but is easily broken, and our blood seems so eager to escape, to run. A hopelessness settled deep within me, and I began to wonder if I could figure out a way to defeat the beast.

As my blood pooled beside me, it formed a crimson mud with the dirt on the floor. It reminded me of the path and the brook on my journey; how a cave is formed by drops of water; how a colossal tree rose from a small seed. Those thoughts, and my lingering pain for my lost love, brought me to my feet once again. The monster turned toward me, and its legs tensed, then it sprang forward, its claws surging toward me. I quickly stepped to the side but grabbed it by a wrist and dug my fingers in like I had before with its ankle. I began twisting to avoid the surge of blood that was trying to cover my hand and hold me fast. As I twisted, the connection of its hand to its arm became damper and damper with blood. Then, as if by a miracle, the hand separated from its body.

Without thinking, I plunged my hand into the base of the severed claw. I was sickened by the sensation, by the sound, as the partially congealed blood once again grabbed a hold of my hand. This time it would be to my advantage. Once my new hand seemed firmly in place, I set to slashing. I swatted at the beast, and a piece of its flesh flew from it and landed on the ground. The wound resembled the innards of a blood orange, and this time it didn’t heal. With this new found knowledge, I began slicing and hacking at the beast. It fought back, but I was propelled by a legacy of devastation, the most recent being out in front of the cave. I forged that pain into a warrior’s swiftness and accuracy. I received nicks here and there, but I was doing most of the damage, and the monsters flesh was dropping wetly to the floor in large chunks and darkening.

In one final push of determination, I screamed with an unfettered rage and sliced unwaveringly for each of the slain boys; each of the mothers cries of pain; each of the fathers done in by their own hand after the shame became too great, and they were swallowed by it. The cave floor was now covered with a quickly darkening sludge that once formed the beast. It seemed to writhe as it shrank and dried into a scabby crust upon the floor. I sat upon the one clean surface in the cave, a rock, and breathed a deep sigh of relief. As blood still dripped from me, a triumphant feeling washed over me bringing tears and sobs, partly from joy but mostly from exhaustion. I leaned against the cave wall, and, before I could stop myself, I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Tradition Part 1

The sun peeked over the earth, and its light covered the ground like a gush of water; the meaning, however, was that of a youthful infatuation: as the wind poured from the east cutting its teeth on my face, and my eyes fought back with a salient defiance. The absence of warmth bent my back and hunched my shoulders. In spite of its brutality, the day did not lack beauty. The new snow, untouched, resembled the warm comfort that then lay rumpled on my bed. The comparison made my mind jovial just before I realized I was then wrapped within the day’s cold fingers and not my beds warm embrace. My feet crunched through the ice with each step, and as the barren trees grew closer, they towered above me in their skeletal majesty. I caught my first full breath as the wind receded for a few short moments, and my lungs quaked from the cold of it.
I broke the tree line and slowed my pace.

Snow covered much of the forest floor, so the dangers and beasts were now equally hidden and baring their teeth. I wove between the trees my ancestors planted, treading a path they had worn through bloodlines and tradition. The dawn of the first snow is the time; the cave of the beast is the place. An appointment made by the souls of the first born sons of my people and kept by the second born.Tales of the massacre and first born extinction had been told to me throughout my life by the wavering voices of the elders and by the tears of mothers who still mourn. Though years have been removed, the pain stays fresh on the surface. On the anniversary, it was a smell in the air, like the embers of a fire or the blood of birth. That anniversary was tomorrow. Today was our insurance that the fires would not be filled with bodies, and the wails would be only for the past.

The elders had expressed how important this walk would be, to absorb the peace of it and commit all of the sounds and sensations to memory. I would need them, to replace more terrifying moments later. Instead of breaking bones, I would hear snapping twigs; instead of hell born roars, bubbling brooks. This process was as vital as its end would be. It was the only way to come out of it alive. I listened to each branch cracking from its burden of snow. I watched the rabbits dart from their homes, bounding confidently through the forest floor’s thick coverage. I felt the cold air stick to me with each step, as if the layers of the snow itself were stuck to my skin. I reveled in all things natural, for soon, in spite of its harshness, it would be a comfort I would long for, even beg to be with again.

As the sun reached its peak, it sent shafts of light through the bare thick branches of this dead forest. I could hear snow, as it melted, drip upon the stones on the ground. I stopped for a few minutes to eat my last meal in the fashion which the elders had instructed. I divided it into 3 portions: one for me, one for the forest, and one for the hope that I would return. As I trekked on, the sun slid down the sky, turning the forest into a museum of shadows. One might see them as dark beings waiting for you to turn your back, so they can take you away. I saw them as those who had made this journey before, the ones who didn’t return. They knew what the result could be and still stood in support.

The sun settled on its haunches; red and orange light alighted from the horizon. As I got closer to the cave, there was an unnatural warmth in the surrounding area. The ground at this point was wet from the melting snow and slid beneath my feet. Each time I lifted my foot, it made a sucking sound, each footfall an uneasy splash. My shoes quickly became caked with the thick mud, adding weight to my already realized trudgery.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the cave appeared like a looming threat. My heart tried in vain to depart from my chest. I drew in a startled breath; the gasp echoed into the mouth of the cave, and footsteps echoed back. I scrambled behind a rock and shed my bag and coverings, so that I could move more swiftly. A beautiful young woman emerged from the dark opening: a woman I had loved in my dreams for many years. Her skin was a light brown but seemed to shimmer with a gold hue. Her eyes , a dark brown, emanated an unrivaled warmth and welcome. Her mouth was broad, smiling, and surrounded by perfectly shaped lips I had kissed a million times, in my slumbers over the years. Her body, that I had held countless times, was soft and shapely.
Then with a voice I knew as well as my own, she called to me “Aza, come to me.” I turned the corner, ready to run to her. She smiled even more broadly, and I saw her eyes sparkle at the sight of me. Then a claw shot from the mouth of the cave and tore through her throat.

Song lyrics: Getaway Car

You know my soul is wearing thin with each and every passing day
And I don't belong in the place I'm in you know I've got to get away
Jump in my car and start to drive can't go below 55 the breeze don't feel as good
Today's a day just for myself won't do what anybody else keeps telling me I should

Things have got to change
before I go insane
I'm wiping off the slate today

The air's much sweeter when the strain is gone I almost forgot to breath
I'll just keep driving til dusk or dawn I'll take all the time I need
pick up my baby then we'll go the destination I don't know and I don't really care
We'll go the ways we've never been until we find ourselves again until we're happy there
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This song is great for singing at work when your stressed. No one listens to the words and you sound happy!

Song lyrics : Scrutinize

What a time for me to start over again
got too much riding on it now
trying hard to be the person I've been
Don't want to be found out

You don't know what you've done to me
Can't explain how this came to be
I close my eyes and you're all I see

All these dreams have taken a hold of my head
Sucking out all the pain
Try to light the candle at both ends
But getting burned by the flame

I wouldn't call it affection
Maybe just a connection
Then why all the dissection
Scrutinizing down to the inflection
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Go sing along here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ais6wHr80X4

Fresh Snow

The bite of a breeze,
The wet of the air,
The crystals that freeze,
in your uncovered hair,
The blanket of quiet,
The eeriest calm,
The canvas a riot,
When it's tread upon,
Heartbreaking steps,
on its unbroken face,
The distance and depth,
that remembers your place,
Each footfall now minted,
within a cold cage,
Your wanderings printed,
upon it's white page

Beyond Survival

When life itself plays that perfect chord,
When no more cuts the rusty sword,
When eyes reveal that they understand,
When even fate is a helping hand,
When crushed insides begin to heal,
When circumstance won't make you kneel,
When weight is shed from tired shoulders,
When gravel sits where once were boulders,
When the words means joy instead of pain,
When the maestro plays a bright refrain,
When escapes your heart rather then chances,
When the you inside now preens and prances,
Let it in, this glorious arrival,
and enjoy the world beyond survival

Ember: Part 1

I always want to start in the middle. That's where the action starts. I don't want to wait, the waiting was the hardest part so why would I put you through that fair readers? So should we speak of the sword first? The one that split their skulls and severed various limbs from various foes or do you really want the beginning. Why would the woman becoming the destroyer be of any interest to you? Do you need to know why? The proverbial straw, the accelerant to the ensuing inferno explained? I suppose it's important that you can understand why an executioner became such. If not to make sure you do not tread the same cliff's edge then to make sure you can at least understand and stop the next bringer of doom. Ember is my name, they chose it for the black hair with a tuft of sparkly red at my widows peak. They did not yet know it would also represent the smoldering that would occur within me. The explosion that would level a town. Now at that moment it was a long way off, but the flames had already been fed. You see they did not name any girl in the village until she reached the age of 5. You may think it was due to disease or just perchance unfortunate deaths of the young citizens of the village. Notice though that I said girls. There was reason that we hardly made it to 5 years. That reason was the men of the village, well, the men's brutality and the women's acceptance of it. Now I've already told you that it was the girls that died in great numbers before 5. I suppose now you'd like to know why. As if it matters. Would it be easier to accept a wholesale slaughter of the girls when the food grew sparse, or sexual brutality by sick men that often went too far too fast. In ways that a toddler girls body couldn't handle. Perhaps it was just that the girls, upon ability to walk, were given the gathering jobs in woods thick with perils and hungry beasts and frequently didn't return. It could have been any one of these things or all of them but I'm not going to give you the pleasure of knowing so that you can reason yourself into tolerance. I was named at 5, as I said, and was given a broom in the ceremony. This was the ritual. What did this symbolize you ask? Servitude. Not magic not a clean slate but servitude. That was the woman's role in this village. The only one. One day I was sweeping with my new broom at 5 and 1/2 and a beast approached me. It tried to grab me it tried to hurt me. I beat it with the hard end of the broom until it lay on the ground in agony still trying to move towards me. The stick was dull but I still managed to drive it into the beast through a hole that it already possessed but when I felt resistance I kept pushing until it was dead. My mother found me and the now deceased foe and quickly urged me to drag it into the woods. Women were not the hunters. Women weren't allowed to kill things. I asked here what I was supposed to do let it kill me? She only nodded. We cleaned the broom and though streaks of red still lived on it, it was hardly noticeable. Still she urged me to rub it with rocks to try to remove the stains. She locked me in the vegetable hut for 3 days so I could complete this task. When she returned the broom handle was clean and the garden spade was sharpened and hidden within the folds of my skirt. I would not be caught unaware again. She smiled with a smile of relief and told me excitedly that she doesn't think any one has caught on to what had happened. She said it as if our vegetable yield had been double what was expected. I asked her why she was so excited by that, why it wouldn't be better for the village to know. Perhaps this was a form of protection we could exploit, fear. It seemed a popular one amongst the men in the village. She beat me and threw me back in the vegetable shed. By the time I reached 11 I had racked up a total of six months time in the vegetable hut for saying things like that. So when I once again slipped up she sent me to the local inn instead, to help clean up there for 3 days. I shortly realized upon arrival what that meant. This is where the adventurers and hunters from other nearby villages would stay while on their trek. It was all men, of course. I had my trusty spade with me but the risk of being in a building full of men that all believed that same things was perhaps made it too high a risk if survival was my intent. The gods however smiled upon me. The man I was paired with was a drunken fool. He passed out swiftly and harmlessly the first two nights. On the third night he made a move but could not deliver on his end of the tryst. As he cried himself to sleep I settled in the chair in the room. As he left the next morning he complained to the woman who managed the Inn and just before my mother came to pick me up and she beat me. Just as my hand reached for the spade my mother arrived. I still wanted to slice her a good one but just as I had been spared, I supposed she could be as well. Besides I had this growing feeling that I should wait until It was absolutely necessary to reveal my defense. I felt the danger growing each day. I felt the band stretching tight and soon, it would snap.

The Whole Story

An overlooked detail,
a loose thread, that part that is just ever so slightly off.
That is what I seek, as if a keyhole to help me unlock your mysteries.
I want to unlock you and pore through your dusty boxes.
I want to pick all the locks.
You say that's me in a nutshell but I want to crack it open.
I want to see everything from kept receipts of what you've sold,
to the annals of history that form the story of you.
The giant sign on the wall is nice
but the fortune you saved from a cookie long ago that's tucked into a tiny box in the corner is just as telling if not more so.
Do not relegate yourself to a summary,
you are so much more.
That clever blurb eventually becomes you, clever but limited.
Present the whole story and keep the ones who are clapping and crying with you at the end.

Self

This is my neon sign,
my drama, My very public tantrum.
I am making noise, calling out to those who need an awakening or just want to witness another's.
This is my banner, my t-shirt, my emblem.
This is what I stand for and support, this is my pride on the line,
my shield in the battle of existence.
This is my stage name, my costume, my mask.
This is how I have chosen to show you who I am,
this is what people will analyze after I am gone if they care to know more.
These are my volumes, my grimoire, my oral history.
It is made up of all of me, what I think, what I feel,
who I am, and how much that can change day to day.
This is my closet, my attic, my basement.
All the things I have collected throughout my life,
things I should have thrown out that I have kept and things I have lost that still pain me to remember.
This is my resume, my final, my thesis.
This is my offering to the world,
from my perspective shaped by many others and reinterpreted by me.
This is my brain, My heart, My gut.
Things that matter and things that don't but they all make up a life that is still learning and growing.
One that cannot be easily defined or even put into words properly
not even by it's author
but I will continue to try, not for you, but for me.

Spoken

I have no thoughts I can nail down,
A superhighway through the crown,
So much talking so few words,
Seeking cream and finding curds,
Floating aimless against my will,
I cannot move and can't sit still,
Is it the planets or the stars?
Or just the fear of showing scars,
Imperfections curse my mirror,
Until the blur gets ever clearer,
I have nothing more to give,
And yet my words still breathe, still live,
I feel the surface just now breaking,
All I know now is the aching,
Remove the robes to show the skin,
Build up the good to smite the sin,
As tongues work harder now to hide,
The darkened places deep inside,
The light attacks and tears me open,
Pray the truth now shall be spoken

Broken open

I once thought I was broken but the truth is I'm broken open,
That nerve that screams from the slightest breeze,
The skinned knee that means adventure,
That succulent orange freed from it's rough skin ready to be devoured,
That snake that now shows a new skin, more vibrant then before,
That boring rock that hides earths lustrous treasures,
That sentence or sound that you could never let slip,
the one that could end everything or begin the healing,
That present that you never knew you wanted and now it is the best one you have ever received,
I am unwrapped, I am exposed, I am naked, I am raw,
The useless discarded,
the substance within ready to be tasted

A Breath so Deep, A Heart so Full

My eyes can only take in the pleasure of it all,
My mouth can only sit agape at the wonder,
My heart squeezes it's feelings to my eyes for it is too much to hold in,
My arms have lost all sense of purpose and composure,
My stomach a creature that folds and twists and flutters,
My legs like the new branches on a spring tree, flimsy and weak,
bending and bowing,
My mind already replaying the moment
and bounding off to preplan the future of what it could mean,
My breath labored with the joy of it all,
sucking it's moments more and more quickly,
What a glorious extremity,
The opposite of tragedy, the opponent to despair,
Here is where we all should live, this is what we all should feel.
Found, Loved, Known, Seen.

The Creaking Wheel Part 2

Her feet pounded up the stairs, ringing with each step on the metal. She wore a wheelmen’s uniform that had been altered to fit her small frame and topped it off with an expression of determination. Her teeth sat tightly clenched in her cheeks, squaring her jawline. Her hands were balled into white knuckled fists and moved rigidly at her sides as she walked. She pushed the door open, and it banged loudly against the wall. A chorus of men chuckled and shouted, “New Guy!” and the chorus carried throughout the workroom. As the second round of jeers began, they turned to see the boss’s daughter standing there slowly pinking in the face. They stopped heckling, some mid-syllable, and the room fell silent except for the moaning of the machinery. She surveyed the work room and was met with darting glances and some sneers below the goggles on the men’s faces. She heard everyone clear their throat at least once and wondered if this was some kind of secret code the workers had to communicate dissatisfaction amongst each other. She lowered her eyes and made her way to the office to meet her father and husband. The heavy door swung open, creaking a warning to the workers. Her father stepped out the door of the office and looked at each worker, face by face. Most of them turned back to their work when he made eye contact, some did so after a very audible gulp. If she didn’t know better she would think that they were trying to be funny. Her father was well revered among the workers but also feared. She had seen him fly off the handle when a worker made a nearly fatal mistake; she had never seen the color that was upon his face that day anywhere else in nature before or since. She stepped in the office, and the door creaked shut behind her. “Are you sure you want to do this honey?” her father asked. He took a breath to say more, but she held up her hand and simply said, “I’m sure.” They spent the rest of the work day going over the schematics of the wheel, vital safety measures, and how the wheel was operated. After they were done, they made their way out of the office. Most of the workers had already left for the day, and the rest were in the lockers packing up. Her father led her to the wheel. He asked her to name off the safety rules with the exact wording and in the exact order in which he had taught them to her. She made it three-quarters of the way down the list and started to flounder. “You’re not ready,” he said sternly. She nodded dejectedly. Her husband tried to plead with her father for another chance. “Don’t worry darling, tomorrow morning I will be correcting him on the rules,” she said winking. “I don’t doubt it for a second honey,” her father said nodding. “If that’s the case,” he continued, “then tomorrow, you work the wheel.”

Resolution

As the fog of another year gone by is slowly lifted, A brand new year has now begun with which we have been gifted, More time to find our happiness, More time to ease our pain, More time to reinvent ourselves then go back to the same, For hope cannot survive alone, it must be reinforced, So little changes can be the stones upon our new found course, Don't paint an angel, paint it's wing, or even just a feather, With each new wisp of fluffy white the bigger piece gets better, One day you'll take a look around, in a year or maybe seven, And realize your tiny wisps have turned into your heaven.