Wondering about the mind of a crazy woman

What does the world look like? How many enemies does she come across in a day? Does she fear many or just a select few? Does she have pictures in her head about the things she claims? Does she have more pictures of how she will triumph? Could she really kill? Does the world hold the same colors for her? Do people look like monsters? How big of a part of her is tainted by religious images? How big of a part of her is tainted with propaganda? How much of her is a victim in true reality? Did someone make her this way or was it just the chemicals in her brain piecing together wrongly? Will science ever really know or is this the one secret that God is able to keep?

Yes, I'm a slacker

IN lieu of my new guilty pleasure song (if you don't already know I won't tell you) this will be about my favorite subject

He comes in, just like every tuesday. Cute in the way that a mutt is. Most woman would pass him by but for some reason my chest tightens. I get nervous and try not to stare. Counting the times he looks at me and wondering if it's more then last time. Wondering if he wonders. His hair is dirty and his eyes a simple brown but still my heart leaps as if suicidal when he glances. The looks are innocent enough, but maybe he's hiding too. I feel silly and young like in grade school. My maturity has no place in these moments. I don't fantasize when he leaves, I don't yearn for his grimy hands. When he is present though, I am fluttery inside. I sometimes wonder what I would say if he ever broached the subject. Would I have the presence of mind to refuse or would I be vague, play games with the small amount of power it lends? I wonder if this maelstrom spills into his psyche just a little, if my intoxication gives him some kind of contact high. Then strikes the self esteem, by the time he leaves my lust feels more like pleading. He leaves having been cordial, so of course devastation hangs around for a few minutes. Then it's over, and I don't even think about it until the following tuesday. Perhaps that is true maturity?

An appeal to science and black magic practitioners

It used to be that horror movies were an escape. True horrors to worry about it place of the day to day concerns that eat away at your sanity. Bills, medical issues, money problems, politics all take a back seat to the serial killer, the ghost, the zombie. The monster that the evil scientist created from spare parts was unthinkable and impossible but well worth fearing. The ancient being that had transcended time and reason to exact revenge or flex his power was creepy but could never actually rise again. Then they started making movies based on true stories of the most grisly mass murderers. The idea that this could be a possibility began the process of taking care when you go out and the more movies they made the more afraid people became of the everyday activities of life. Then came the ghost shows, paranormal researchers providing convincing evidence that there could actually maybe be ghosts. I know of 3 such shows, there are probably 25 more I do not know about. Then came the zombies, yes there is actually a way to turn a human into a zombie. No they don't eat brains or flesh but they "died" and then came back to life. That alone is scary. Ax murderers, mutilators, kidnappers, home invasion, snipers, government rebels bombing buildings. All have come to pass. Next came, cloning, zombies, cryogenic freezers, shooting at the moon. Ahhh!
So I say lets keep trying to cure disease and try to save the world but let's stop short at Alien Resurrection-style rooms full of Ripley alien mash up prototypes begging to die, let's stop short of bringing people back to life after years in a cryogenic freezer, let's stop short of figuring out how to rip a whole in space to make time travel easier.
To all you purveyors of black magic, let's just stay away from the Necronomicon stuff with summoning forth the creatures that exist between time and space. Let's not call forth beings that existed before existence and will exist long after existence. I need some things to still be afraid of, that I can also continue to think won't ever exist. Many of the horrors our parents never thought possible have now happened at least once. Fiction works written long ago that were too over the top to be believable have now actually happened. Please preserve these evils I have mentioned, do not expose us to any of these things or we will die, and if we don't we will have nothing to escape to any longer.