Fate or catalyst of

There on many stories on a website I have been reading about bad things that have happened to other people that cause someone to finally realize their dream or find the love of their life etc. It got me thinking that its a little unfair that people have to suffer or die just to get someone else going. What if it doesn't work. I know that everyone suffers and dies at some point in their life in some way and I do believe that the universe will guide you in the right direction if your paying attention. Now though I am worried that if someone doesn't visit me or call me when they were supposed to am I gonna end up a catalyst? Will I be the collateral damage to their destiny? I hope that I live long and am trying to improve my health so that I may do so but now I have this paranoid delusion that I am marked. Perhaps this should be my wake up call that if I don't do something important soon I will become the catalyst instead of the one who was inspired by another persons downfall. I know some people who have suffered a great deal and don't show any signs of breaking through the other side. I know people that are all but lost and the folks that want to help them can barely get them on the phone. I hope that some of them don't end up being someone else's lesson on life. I know that this all sounds very bleak but it would provide a new meaning to the dog eat dog world concept wouldn't it?

horrible blogger

So I checked when the last time I blogged was and it was awhile ago.
During that long stretch I've had about 500 satc styled internal monologues.
You know, the kind she would make into her widely popular article. So I
Guess I'm not programmed to jot down every occurence like that but perhaps I could try to make at least one on here from time to time.