Late night hysterics

I think that sometimes woman get so used to being young and hot and able to walk all over men and get whatever they want that when they lose the looks or waistline or just the power they don't exactly realize it and then people just find them annoying and bitchy.

It saddens me that there are some songs I hesitate to listen to because of what was happening in my life when I attached to them back then. I don't want those moods back.

I feel somewhat imprisoned by responsibility but I feel more happiness that I can provide what is needed to live for 4 people (for the most part) I just hope that things stay good.

Late night little boy giggles are the best thing in the world. Late night upstairs neighbor thumping is almost the opposite.

I feel very much out of touch with current social trends at the moment, but when I get the urge to try to learn them I immediately feel nauseous.

Sometimes I feel that work ethics are being compromised in the name of "customer service" and I also feel that all these changes are eating away at professionalism. If your wondering if I'm a fogey see above.

Is it coincidence that the people I find immature and lacking in certain qualities are also really fucking annoying.

Is it weird that the people at work I do consider my friends I don't entirely trust how honest they are being with me?

You like to say the word motherfucker, admit it.

When I dyed my hair black the other night the song Mother by Danzig popped into my head. Should I be worried?

Ok, that's it for now.

Wondering about the mind of a crazy woman

What does the world look like? How many enemies does she come across in a day? Does she fear many or just a select few? Does she have pictures in her head about the things she claims? Does she have more pictures of how she will triumph? Could she really kill? Does the world hold the same colors for her? Do people look like monsters? How big of a part of her is tainted by religious images? How big of a part of her is tainted with propaganda? How much of her is a victim in true reality? Did someone make her this way or was it just the chemicals in her brain piecing together wrongly? Will science ever really know or is this the one secret that God is able to keep?

Yes, I'm a slacker

IN lieu of my new guilty pleasure song (if you don't already know I won't tell you) this will be about my favorite subject

He comes in, just like every tuesday. Cute in the way that a mutt is. Most woman would pass him by but for some reason my chest tightens. I get nervous and try not to stare. Counting the times he looks at me and wondering if it's more then last time. Wondering if he wonders. His hair is dirty and his eyes a simple brown but still my heart leaps as if suicidal when he glances. The looks are innocent enough, but maybe he's hiding too. I feel silly and young like in grade school. My maturity has no place in these moments. I don't fantasize when he leaves, I don't yearn for his grimy hands. When he is present though, I am fluttery inside. I sometimes wonder what I would say if he ever broached the subject. Would I have the presence of mind to refuse or would I be vague, play games with the small amount of power it lends? I wonder if this maelstrom spills into his psyche just a little, if my intoxication gives him some kind of contact high. Then strikes the self esteem, by the time he leaves my lust feels more like pleading. He leaves having been cordial, so of course devastation hangs around for a few minutes. Then it's over, and I don't even think about it until the following tuesday. Perhaps that is true maturity?

An appeal to science and black magic practitioners

It used to be that horror movies were an escape. True horrors to worry about it place of the day to day concerns that eat away at your sanity. Bills, medical issues, money problems, politics all take a back seat to the serial killer, the ghost, the zombie. The monster that the evil scientist created from spare parts was unthinkable and impossible but well worth fearing. The ancient being that had transcended time and reason to exact revenge or flex his power was creepy but could never actually rise again. Then they started making movies based on true stories of the most grisly mass murderers. The idea that this could be a possibility began the process of taking care when you go out and the more movies they made the more afraid people became of the everyday activities of life. Then came the ghost shows, paranormal researchers providing convincing evidence that there could actually maybe be ghosts. I know of 3 such shows, there are probably 25 more I do not know about. Then came the zombies, yes there is actually a way to turn a human into a zombie. No they don't eat brains or flesh but they "died" and then came back to life. That alone is scary. Ax murderers, mutilators, kidnappers, home invasion, snipers, government rebels bombing buildings. All have come to pass. Next came, cloning, zombies, cryogenic freezers, shooting at the moon. Ahhh!
So I say lets keep trying to cure disease and try to save the world but let's stop short at Alien Resurrection-style rooms full of Ripley alien mash up prototypes begging to die, let's stop short of bringing people back to life after years in a cryogenic freezer, let's stop short of figuring out how to rip a whole in space to make time travel easier.
To all you purveyors of black magic, let's just stay away from the Necronomicon stuff with summoning forth the creatures that exist between time and space. Let's not call forth beings that existed before existence and will exist long after existence. I need some things to still be afraid of, that I can also continue to think won't ever exist. Many of the horrors our parents never thought possible have now happened at least once. Fiction works written long ago that were too over the top to be believable have now actually happened. Please preserve these evils I have mentioned, do not expose us to any of these things or we will die, and if we don't we will have nothing to escape to any longer.

Falling

Shortening time with nowhere to climb
how now I could fall so gracelessly
Plummeting down so close to the ground
the fear it attacks so baselessly
I'm feeling the wind pour on me again
and wondering just when the hit will come
The rope set to snap to take the heights back
and send me right back where I started from

Peoples,Peoples,Peoples

We're doing it all wrong
Trying to make everything right
You can either play along
or take up your weapon and fight

Don't matter what you say
there will always be one
who's gonna scream nay
and then the battle's just begun

Some seem so blind to the world
they can't even see themselves
so angry words are hurled
from the glass house in which they dwell

I don't think anybody knows for sure
I don't think anybody knows what's pure

This will be it(I must vent just this once)

I am sick of politics, I am sick of one side being full of people who don't seem to give a shit about anyone but themselves and whoever throws obscene amounts of money at them. I am Sick of the other party constantly saying look how evil they are and how much they suck. I'm also sick of people piling on the president who seems to be the only person in this situation right now that has any sense and respect. I want to be a good citizen and read and get all the info but unless I read it from 15 different sources and compare notes I'm fucked cause I only got 1/16th of the story. This fucking sucks people, it sucks so much that even the smart folks can't keep up with all this bullshit. Then there are all the people that have been so brainwashed by the fakest fuckin media ever that they are fighting their own interests!! We should not be in a country where a propaganda machine works this well. we should not be in a country where when people beg for help people yell back get a job. We shouldn't be in a country where people's contrived paranoia resembles The Holocaust in there minds. Are you fucking kidding me. Can't we just put a couple of them in a concentration camp and see if they think it's the same? They right looney's offered to get waterboarded why don't they start up a "fake" concentration camp to show them what it's really like. And all those whitey's whining that they are now oppressed, just like the black people were, under Obama? Give the black people their reparations in the form of plantations and white slaves and let them have just a week where they can treat the white folks like they were. Let's kick all the white kids out of the good schools and make them go to school in the bad neighborhoods. They have no fucking conceptions about what they are talking about. Give me a fuckin break people. You are disgusting and horrible people, YOU are the ones ruining the country with your need to be worse off then the people you wouldn't throw a penny too from your car window. You can't get a riding mower? They can't get shoes, food, medical care, shelter, protection from violent crime so FUCK YOU, I don't give a shit about your strife. Guess what people the giant fat hog that we have been living off of for so many years is dead, the scraps are gone, the bones are clean and the marrow has been sucked out. We are fucked. So now you want to blame someone and Obama seems like the guy for the job. Read just one article, just one. Do you really believe that Obama spent all that money just since he got here? Do you really think that he made the stock market crash somehow through his acorn connections just to make Bush look bad? Did he give the first bailout through Bush via mind control? I bet you Glenn Beck has proclaimed at least one of these theories (if not all) as truth. Stop getting your information from lunatics and assholes only. They are LIARS!!!!! LIARS!!!! Give me my motherfucking country back, get a heart, and stick your fucking teabag in someone else's face because there is proof out there that everyone of your crackpot theories is not only wrong but magnanimously idiotic. Also, those of you that want to tell people to drop Bush because that was the past? We will still be fixing his mistakes when my grandchildren's grandchildren have grandchildren so fuck you too.