sounds abound

SO my husband bought a new keyboard for our computer today. It's pretty snazzy, all black and streamlined with volume control on the keyboard. The bigger aspect for me is how quiet it is. I can type away and barely a sound is made in comparison to the old keyboard. I hate this feature. I have always loved sound in all it's forms (mostly) but specifically with writing. I loved typewriters despite how even the correctable ones were annoying to make corrections on. I like writing with one sheet of paper on a wooden desk with a heavy pen or a pencil. I often use more punctuation in these situations. I am jealous of those metal clipboards that workers use sometimes.Computer keyboards were less satisfying but the old ones still made such a clacking that it was livable. If a secretary had long nails and typed swiftly it was musical to me. The sound all these things make to my head are the sound of progress. Not a new an improved anything just a creatively active me. Now instead we have machines that are quieter in use but all devices create a hum in the air. Have you ever noticed when your looking for peace and quiet there is always something in the distance humming. T.V. had a high pitched noise that could change the way you felt in a room. Demanding your attention to the source, before the screen even glowed you were looking. People insert the scratchy record noise or tape noise on tracks sometimes just to make it seem more authentic or at least nostalgic. Noise in almost any form can be appreciated but it's easier to appreciate when you can escape it at least for a little while. Sometimes I want a log cabin in the middle of nowhere with no devices just so I can finally appreciate the infernal humming of all my electronic devices, cause even when the power is out it's still there somehow, driving me crazy.

Let Go and Learn

This message popped into my head during a recent meditation. I am never sure if these messages are conjured from my own psyche or introduced from some unseen external place. I suppose when doing something like meditation it would be foolish to rule out one over the other. It seems like a wise statement. A statement describing the control that many of us feel that we need to be able to handle life. There is a polarity, either you in control or your one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason. Except that sometimes being in control can create one of those seemingly fateful coincidences and adversely not controlling anything in life can leave you lost. I've always felt that balance is important as well as tapping into your own intuition. I rarely achieve balance but when I do it is a wonderfully peaceful feeling. When all is right with the world or at least in your world. That's when you have those few moments to really create and express, to accomplish something dynamic and sustaining. It is a wonderful feeling to tap into your intuition as well. It can give a person confidence and focus. Also the general feeling of having a little help is a plus. The problem comes in when you try to second guess that connection and end up screwing yourself in the process. If you can accomplish the feat of tapping into that intuition you should try to be humble enough to accept what it tells you and watch how things unfold. When I was younger I felt very connected and as I got older and hardships came and beat me down I lost it. This new practice of meditation has done wonders for me, helping me to unlock deep abscesses that I had been unaware of and purging them and just generally calming me down and helping me realize that swimming upstream all the time was really the cause of my fatigue and doldrums. I'm not saying swim with the school. It;s more like a go with the flow kind of feeling. I don't necessarily think that I am in a position to advise others, my balance that I strive for is still pretty wobbly at best, but I have felt a change and I like the change I have felt. So I will truly try to focus on this phrase and see what happens next.

October

I love the month of October. I'm not sure why but I always have. Upon recent enthusiasm of the month I love from other sources I have gotten to thinking. I wonder if this is the month for cynics. I mean everything is dying and it can even get downright dreary at times and it leads to cold,snow,ice and days devoid of meaningful sunshine for months on end. Those all seem like things that cynics would like. However I would like to submit that maybe its about hope. Maybe it's a chance to begin a new start as the pagans say the dying in fall and winter bring about new life in the spring. Moreover this is the time when things change. This is the time of year when the boring old green leaves turn wonderful hues like red, yellow, orange and purple. Yes it is the road to death but it is the chance for those leaves to be something other then just green like all the other leaves. When everything is green their is not the same individuality. When things begin to change however half a tree turns red and the other half splits between orange and brown. All these leaves looked the same weeks ago now they have divided and separately and collectively are beautiful. This when the hidden beauty comes out even if it is a last ditch effort. So one man's cynic is another man's hopeful dreamer. This could be the year that everything changes. This could be the year that everything gets better. This time it will all fall into place. When the world turns shiny and beautiful again so will I. This time for sure.

Fate or catalyst of

There on many stories on a website I have been reading about bad things that have happened to other people that cause someone to finally realize their dream or find the love of their life etc. It got me thinking that its a little unfair that people have to suffer or die just to get someone else going. What if it doesn't work. I know that everyone suffers and dies at some point in their life in some way and I do believe that the universe will guide you in the right direction if your paying attention. Now though I am worried that if someone doesn't visit me or call me when they were supposed to am I gonna end up a catalyst? Will I be the collateral damage to their destiny? I hope that I live long and am trying to improve my health so that I may do so but now I have this paranoid delusion that I am marked. Perhaps this should be my wake up call that if I don't do something important soon I will become the catalyst instead of the one who was inspired by another persons downfall. I know some people who have suffered a great deal and don't show any signs of breaking through the other side. I know people that are all but lost and the folks that want to help them can barely get them on the phone. I hope that some of them don't end up being someone else's lesson on life. I know that this all sounds very bleak but it would provide a new meaning to the dog eat dog world concept wouldn't it?

horrible blogger

So I checked when the last time I blogged was and it was awhile ago.
During that long stretch I've had about 500 satc styled internal monologues.
You know, the kind she would make into her widely popular article. So I
Guess I'm not programmed to jot down every occurence like that but perhaps I could try to make at least one on here from time to time.

belief

I believe that there is an energy that we all have within us that connects
us to each other and the universe. I believe that that energy hooks us all together
And emits from our bodies. Our souls can feel each other when we are close
To each other. We can feel the happiness and sadness and anger and disappointment
that we spill forth. We put it out almost inflicting it on others. We don't realize or
intend to it just happens. We are not only made of this energy but also a location
from which it ebbs and flows. The more balanced we are the less of the negative
we inflict on others. Also this could help you process those vibes you get from others.
Rather then falling victim we can feel that emotion from our perspective. Perhaps, we
Could provide a solution through understanding and compassion. It's a theory worth
Testing I think.

mobile posting

So here I am posting on my smartest smart phone. Sweet